When Life Takes Over

Ahhhhhh yes…life. It’s a wonderful, funny, frustrating, lovely, exciting, beautiful, infuriating thing. It can take over without you even being aware of what is happening, and before you know it, you are stuck in a stupid routine you didn’t even want in the first place.

How many times have you set out to do something. You started doing it and then things get all flustered and hectic and that “thing” just kinda slips away. It is something you really want to do, everyday, for you. To keep your sanity, to keep a small piece of you in play…but then life takes over and suddenly you are doing everything for everyone else, again. Why do our mom brains, wife brains, work brains allow us to forget our me brains?

Structure doesn’t work well for me. I have tried. Same things, same time everyday and it just doesn’t work. I will get more stressed out trying to do that than just letting things play out. My work schedule isn’t the same on a day to day or even a week to week basis. Therefore, I have to adjust. My family has to adjust. Sometimes it just feels like it is chaotic all the time.

Rarely, if ever, do I have downtime. My downtime consists of laundry, picking up, fixing dinner, etc. On occasion, I can sit down with my crochet, sit here and write something like this or just sit and do nothing. I thoroughly enjoy the crochet, writing and nothing. But! When I do that and finally decide to do laundry, I find 4 loads in the washer, not washed, that someone just wanted to get off the floor. Why would someone else actually want to do a load??

I understand that when you become a wife, mom, grandma, and work outside the home there are certain things you sign up for. I get it. However, why do we let those things always override ourselves? The age old question…

Soooooooo. Back to my laundry and picking up before I have to go to work and pull a very, extremely busy late shift 😒🤷‍♀️

Mind Reader?

Mom/Wife rant of the day!

How many of us eat, sleep, drink, dream…literally breath our family on a daily basis. Every moment, every thought process, every decision is based on them. Whether it’s if you wash that load of laundry or what you buy at the grocery store. Now, with that same thought, how many of our families do that same thing for us? Or has it become a scenario where all that you do is now expected and God forbid you swerve off course.

Have you actually sat down and told them what you need? What will help you? What will make things easier for you? Or do you just expect them to know that the clean clothes in the laundry basket need to be put away cuz you didn’t have time? Or the trash needs to go out cuz it’s overflowing? For most of us it seems like a no brainer…for others, obviously, not so much.

Now, what if you have repeatedly told them what you need? Asked for help? Let them know what will make you happy and make your life easier but still get not much, if anything, in return. Or they seem to “get it” for a day or two…maybe a week or two, and then it goes back to normal. Frustrating to say the least.

It takes a village. It also takes more than just a mom, or husband, or kids to make a household run smoothly. However, many of us take it under our wing and try to do everything to make everyone else’s life easier, happy and then we get so overwhelmed that we can feel like there is no end to it. We can’t keep up. Some of us don’t have much of a choice and we do the very best we can.

When we finally decide to give ourselves a break, do something we want to do on our day off or realize that load of clothes will still be there tomorrow, I swear I think it throws the entire Universe off kilter. Dinner isn’t ready when it usually is, someone doesn’t have something to wear that they need for tomorrow. Then you feel guilty, cuz you single handedly messed up someone’s day by enjoying yours. (If you even get to enjoy it trying not to feel guilty the entire time). Why couldn’t they do the load of clothes? Already have dinner done? But yet, you come home and everyone is sitting around, doing what they want, waiting…for you. Guess what happens? You say nothing and you scramble to get done whatever needs to be done while, you guessed it, everyone sits around and waits.

So what do we do? We keep doing it. Frustrated, overwhelmed and not very happily. We do what we can to try and keep some kind of peace even if it means we don’t get any.

Rant over. For now…maybe.

Today’s To Do List

My to do list every day, though sometimes I need a reminder! .
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#goodmorning #coffeeplease #happythursday #haveagreatday #almosttheweekend #countyourblessings #practicekindness #letgo #listentoyourself #beproductive #staycalm #positivevibes #letgoofthenegative #youcandoit #youvecomethisfar #organizedchaos #simplycomplicated #beautifulmess #hotmessmom #magicmom #momlife #grandmalife #wifelife #qualityoflife #workingmom #workingwife #workinprogress #perfectpending

What’s Your Path?

What path are you on today? Sometimes we are all ready, set, go on a certain one…then life happens and we have to readjust, adapt, maybe even change our way of thinking. That’s ok…there is always a reason for everything and even though we may not know what that reason is, we have to trust ourselves and our intuitions to help lead us the right way. If you find you end up in the wrong spot, make a new path. .
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#goodmorning #haveagreatday #youaremagic #momsdayoff #lifehappens #intuition #whatpathareyouon #makeithappen #beagoodhuman #organizedchaos #simplycomplicated #beautifulmess #hotmessmom #workingmom #workingwife #momlife #grandmalife #wifelife #makeyourownpath #wheredoyouwanttobe #choiceisyours #makeitinteresting #makeityours #smile #youcandoit #thoughtsbecomethings #findyourreason #magicmom

What’s over there?

Good morning! Happy Monday! What is on the other side of that little hill? Around that bend? Could be good bad 😞 Could be opportunity 🤗 Could be something fantastic 😍 Could be something scary 😖 Truth is, it’s unknown, you won’t know till you get there. So does that mean you turn around and go back the way you came? Or do you keep moving forward, even though it may be scary? .
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#goodmorning #coffeeplease #haveagreatday #happymonday #organizedchaos #simplycomplicated #beautifulmess #hotmessmom #magicmom #momlife #grandmalife #wifelife #momsdayoff #workingmom #workingwife #wifingishard #momingishard #youcandoit #keepmovingforward #youaremagic #findyourreason #findyourthing #findyourplace #dowhatyoulove #notetoself #truth #youarepowerful #try #justdoit #youwillthankyourself

It’s Not About That

How many times have you told yourself, or heard someone else say, “If I could just lose 10, 20, 50 pounds, I would feel so much better!” Then how many times have we all tried to do this with less than desirable results? Let’s face it, there are many of us that dieting doesn’t work for. Most of the diets out there are hard to maintain and most of us just give up. Trust me, when I start reading about one and the see the words “meal plan” or “meal replacement”, I immediately stop reading. I’m not going to deprive myself of the things I love, or drink my meals. I don’t have time to rearrange my schedule to accommodate a diet or meal plan. Nor do I habe the time to stop what I’m doing to make a shake or eat at a certain time. Some will see that as lazy or me not being serious about my health, I see it as real life and it’s just not for me. I have kids and a husband that would probably not eat 95% of what most of these plans include and I don’t have the time or money to make several different meals.

What if you tried to do it the other way around? What if you tried getting healthy first? Coming to terms with yourself and the body you’re in. Move a little more, drink more water, drink one less soda or energy drink today, pay attention to what you’re putting into your body and how it makes you feel. Be aware and conscious of your habits. Then, if you want to eat that cookie, cupcake or donut…EAT IT! Don’t deprive yourself of anything. Instead, understand what you are putting into your body and pay attention to how your body reacts to it.

A year and a half ago I knew nothing about gut health. I heard about it all the time but never really put much thought into it. Probiotics, prebiotics, vitamins, supplements…Eh…not gonna make much difference for me, I’m good. Well, I was completely wrong. I had no idea how something as simple as an antibiotic could wreak havoc on my system and at the same time finding the right pre/probiotic could have so many benefits. I had no idea how much I actually needed them until I started them.

I also didn’t know how many ailments, conditions and side effects could be eliminated by getting your gut right. Headaches, anxiety, joint pain, blood sugar, cholesterol, sleeplessness, lack of energy, mood, weight issues (underweight or overweight), allergies and that’s just to name a few. It is amazing how our body works and how much originates in our gut. I am still no expert but I do know how doing this has made me feel and what it has helped me with. I can only speak from personal experience, not from a PhD or degree of any kind.

I used to live on ibuprofen daily, all day. Headaches, joint pain, all over body pain. I would literally feel like I was 80 years old getting out of bed in the mornings. It took a good hour for my feet to feel like they could work normally. No matter how little or much sleep I got, i never ever felt rested when I woke up. I was groggy, tired all day, my mood sucked and I relied heavily on ibuprofen, coffee and energy drinks to get me through my day. My main focus every day was going through the motions to get through my day so I could just go to bed. Then lay there and wonder why I couldn’t fall asleep and then just do it all again the next day. I chalked it up to my job, having kids, getting older and just life in general. This was not living, this was existing and I just got to a point that I was done with it.

Right before I was getting ready to make a doctor appointment to go to get myself checked for some answers to all of my issues, my friend talked me into doing what she had been doing for the last year. She was coming off all her meds, her weight was down, she was actually feeling good. I was skeptical. Very much skeptical. How could a few supplements really make that much of a difference? I wasn’t one who favored taking pills all day long but was that really any different than what I was already doing with the ibuprofen, etc? These were natural, good for you, could make a difference in my overall existence and I was still hesitant in doing it. Funny how the brain works. I had someone literally offering me something that was going to help me but being a creature of habit with prescriptions and over the counter stuff, it seemed strange to me.

However, I was so desperate at this point I did it. I took her advice. I did what she told me to do. I started on my unknown journey. One little drink, once a day. No way was this really going to be beneficial. It was too simple. Everything else I had read about or been offered had a stick regimen. Do this at them time, do something else at this time, etc. To start this was just one thing, once a day at whatever time I wanted.

It took me one week. Just one. A few days after starting I was craving bananas, I don’t eat bananas. Come to find out my body was craving what it needed, not what o was used to putting into it. After about a week, I woke up and I actually wanted to get out of bed, and guess what? My feet worked like a normal person and I wasn’t aching all over and walking around like the hunchback of Notre Dame. After a few weeks I noticed that I hadn’t touched that bottle of ibuprofen and I hadn’t had a headache in a while. I was feeling good all day and I never even reached or longed for that second cup of coffee. I actually didn’t even want to drink the first cup. Coming from someone who drank more than a pot a day…that’s saying a lot.

That was it for me. After 30 days I was finally a believer. I was all in and I started adding other products. They still worked with my schedule. Still fit into my lifestyle. I don’t think I felt that good when I was in my 20’s. It wasn’t my job, wasn’t my kids and it wasn’t just life and me getting older. It was about getting my gut right. Paying attention to my body. Putting the right things into it and balancing it out. Now, after a year and a half, I’m down 35 pounds. I have had maybe 2 headaches. My cholesterol is normal. My mood is stableish. I don’t hurt all over all the time. I’m not tired and groggy all the time. I still have bad days but the good days completely outweigh those.

I’m not perfect. I still eat cake and steak and cheese. I don’t exercise regularly and I am still human. However, this was something that I could easily fit into MY schedule and life. This worked with me and my ever changing schedule. I didn’t have to change up my days or stop what I was doing. It is simple and it works.

So the truth is, none of us got unhealthy overnight. There is no magic pill that is going to make you lose 50 pounds in a week, and if there is it isn’t healthy and it’s not sustainable. It takes time, patience and consistency. It takes being human and taking responsibility for yourself. It takes you listening to someone who has gone through it and come out on the other side. It takes a leap of faith. It takes going against everything you’ve known and become accustomed to.

It’s not about getting skinny. It’s about getting healthy!

Do Something Different?

How long have you been doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting a different outcome? Guess what, it’s not gonna happen. Sometimes you have to change things up a bit, get out of your comfort zone, think outside your box.

Our comfort zone is our safe place. We are comfortable there but it’s also very easy to get stuck there. Some days we are all gungho about stepping out of it, motivated to do something new, right up until the moment we go to do it. Then all these voices start popping into our head. The what ifs creep in. The anxiety pops up. Then we end up talking or thinking our way out of it faster than we pumped ourselves up to do it.

You always hear people say, think outside the box. However, what if it is a box that you have created for yourself. You do what works for you. You do what is easy for you. You keep a learned behavior because it has served you well in the past and it’s all you really know. It isn’t easy to shift our brains into a different gear or down a new path when we have been on the same one for soooo long.

I’ve learned that our biggest obstacle is usually ourselves. We hold ourselves back more than we think we do. We aren’t always willing to accept the unknown. If we can’t see what’s on the other side of a decision, then we don’t dare take the next step. We want certainty. We don’t like to be uncomfortable. It can be downright scary. So, we just keep doing what we know, what we’re comfy with, because we already know what the outcome is going to be.

So what if that outcome doesn’t serve us any longer? We still keep doing things the same way and eventually we become ok with the negativity. It becomes toxic to us but for some reason, we still revel in it. How do we retrain our brains to do something different? We somehow have to be ok with being uncomfortable, even if just for a little while.

The mind is a powerful thing. However, it is your mind and you have the ability to control it. This takes time, baby steps, one day at a time, sometimes one second at a time. One uncomfortable moment at a time.

This is something that I’m still working on. I have sometimes been successful at it, other times I feel like I’m right back at square one. But, it is an awesome feeling when you overcome your own fears, your own insecurities. When you get to the other side of them, it makes you wonder what you were ever so worried about in the first place.

Honor Yourself

How many times have you come out on the other side of a situation thinking to yourself, “If I had only…”. How long have you sat there and pondered the what ifs? What if I had said this? Done this? Reacted like this? You could sit and do this for hours, days, years…where does it get you? Nowhere.

We do the best we can with what we know right now. Life is a series of teachable moments. You learn from mistakes, situations and experiences so that you can do better the next time. That is how we grow. If you keep reliving the same situation over and over again, maybe you haven’t learned what you’re supposed to yet.

How many times have you had the same conversation over and over with your kids, husband, coworker, or friend without a different outcome? You feel like you’re beating your head against a brick wall. If they would just listen, right? Have you perhaps tried changing the way you react to a situation in hope of a different outcome? Sometimes this works…and sometimes your kids, husband, etc are just hard headed and don’t catch on.

I know that when I’m in a situation like this I can feel the stress compounding. The anxiety can be overwhelming and I have to shut it down. I have to take a breather. Could be a day, week or month. I have to step away or out of the situation and remove myself from it. Take a time out so to speak. Sometimes, not even think about it until my brain is ready to revisit it with a new outlook.

I don’t really have any words of wisdom when it comes to things like this. Only that you need to trust yourself. Trust your gut and instinct. Sometimes you have to make a change within yourself if you want to see change elsewhere.

Learn to adapt to new things. Trust that your journey is going to lead you to where you need to be, not necessarily where you want to be.

Evolve by learning from your mistakes, experiences, choices…take from them what you need to grow and leave the rest.

Become the best you that you can be. Be kind, thoughtful and fully aware in every situation. Make sure that your loved ones know that they are thought of, that you’re there for them, that they are loved. However, don’t over extend yourself so that you have nothing left for you.

Be present for your relationships. We all get distracted with everyday going ons that we forget about the ones that are right in front of us. Work, bills, daily chores…we get lost in it. When is the last time you took 5 minutes to really give someone your attention? When is the last time you did something for someone just to do it?

Including yourself…

Positive Vibes Only

“She is at a place in her life where peace is her priority and negativity cannot exist, most of the time”

Sometimes this is easier said than done. I do strive to make a positive spin out of almost anything that can and will be thrown my way. However, when you have a million things coming at you and no answers or solutions, it can be trying. Also, downright frustrating as hell.

I also know that everything typically always works out alright. Maybe not always the way I think it will, but I generally come out on the otherside of whatever it may be in a good place.

That doesn’t always make the process easy or bearable. Sometimes we just have to live in the negative for a moment to be grateful for when it is over. Knowing that somehow, some way, things will turn out ok.

My brain goes a million miles a minute on any given day. Thinking, processing, wondering…it can at times be a complete jumbled up pile of crap. If someone asked me what I was thinking I wouldn’t have a clue as to where to begin. It could be a hundred different things at any moment having nothing and everything to do with one another.

I have gotten much better at dealing with this over the years. Used to, I would be a complete basketcase and be so deep in my own head I wouldn’t be able to find my way out. Sometimes not even be able to function. Thankfully that isn’t the case anymore. I have friends and family that have helped me tremendously overcome that side of myself.

I have been on mood stabilizers and antidepressants. For many people they work wonders. They didn’t work for me, weren’t my thing. I didn’t feel I should have to take a prescription to make myself able to deal with my life, to be happy and functioning. I have luckily found supplements that I have been taking over the past year. They have given me yet another level of functionality for which I am extremely thankful.

I know that things always turn out the way they are supposed to. No matter how unexpected that outcome may be. I have learned to live and work through whatever the process may be. I can deal with it no matter how difficult it may seem at the time. Things always turn out ok and sometimes far better that what was expected in the first place.